Hi, I'm Connie, and I’m here to guide you in working with whatever is stopping you from living the life you want. We all need to be seen for who we truly are, the potential we have, and also what is holding us back. I'm here to listen, reflect, question, and challenge you to see and take the steps you need to transform your life.
Every coach has a coaching style. I'd like to describe three important components of the way I go about coaching.
Transformational
Traditional coaching methodology is to guide a client to work through a specific issue, such as ‘public speaking’ or ‘navigating through a difficult event in their life’, with the focus being on practical steps directly related to that specific problem. Many people who come to coaching already know logical steps to take to work on their issue; the problem is they just can't - for some reason - put into practise what they know they ought to be doing.
In contrast, transformational coaching looks at the person as a whole - guiding the client to develop and awarenesss of what is it about how they approach their life that is limiting them from achieving what - deep down - they know they are capable of. Once the blocking issue has been identified, the next stage is to put into place practical steps to lead them towards not only their initial aim, but also to transform all aspects of their life that overlap with this issue and so can benefit from these changes.
Mindfulness...?
To me, mindfulness is a tool that allows us to be more deeply aware of what is happening, how we feel about it, and what we choose to do about it: in other words, truly allowing us the full use of all of our ability to responding to situations with reasoned thought and considered emotion rather than reacting based on our old habits. Here is a definition from Jon Kabat-Zinn, a renown mindfulness leader.
Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgementally.
Unless we are truly aware of our behavior, our situation, or thoughts and emotions, it is difficult to change deeply ingrained habits. Mindfulness ties in perfectly with transformational coaching, as it helps us see behavior patterns clearly, and with practice gives us the ability to observe them non-judgementally, leaving space to choose how to respond.
To go places and do things that have never been done before – that’s what living is all
about.
Compassion
Compassion is truly a part of Mindfulness, but to me it is important enough to specifically call out. Without compassion for ourselves and for others, it is very difficult to enact long-lasting change. Some may think compassion for ourselves is self-indulgent or unnecessary, and that it's better to drive ourselves do what we want to achieve, either with a carrot or a stick. Compassion is neither the carrot nor the stick. It is a way of recognizing the common humanity we share with others, and others share with us. To allow us to see clearly our imperfections and the behaviors we want to change, but to do so in a way that is recognizes non-judgementally where we are yet also encouraging us to reach for what we want with a growth mindset.